YOU'RE SUCH A SNOOZER

Why are you always so tired? For starters, you don't stick to the bedtime you've set for yourself. The one you know you have to respect if you want to do all the things you want to get done. But even when you get enough sleep, you're still tired. So which one is it? Is it the amount of sleep? Is it the quality? Is it something else? Is this just the way you are? Are you going to look back while lying on your deathbed and say I'm so glad I slept all those extra hours? Who knows, you just might. But I wouldn't bet on it.

YOU'RE NOT THAT OTHER PERSON

So this girl you follow is always out and about doing something. Gym at 6 am, photo shoot at 9 am, another gym session at 1 pm. Relaxing by the pool at 3 pm. Evening workout at 7 pm before going out to the club at midnight to get home at 3 am and wake up at 5 am (again) the next day so they can do it all over again. How can they do so much? Why do they have so much more energy than you? Is it because they want it more? Do they have more drive? Maybe you're not as passionate as you claim to be. Maybe you don't want it as bad as you say you do.

Or, maybe it's because the person you're comparing yourself to is 22 years old, and you're….not.

YOU'RE FULL OF EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES

You were a little too tired after lunch, so you didn't get everything you wanted to get done. It's okay. It's not like those things were that important anyways, were they? It doesn't matter because you're too tired from the two hours of work you did this morning to get any more work done anyway. And you didn't feel like making that call or reading that important loan update you were supposed to review. But you did have enough time to watch two 60-minute episodes of a brand new show. I'm sure you won't regret this tomorrow when you have more work on top of the work you already scheduled you were supposed to do today.

YOU THINK YOU'RE EVERYBODY'S BUDDY, PAL

You really have to do a better job recognizing faces and remembering everyone's names. Because the way things are going….

YOU'RE AFRAID TO SWITCH LANES

You know those times when you're driving, and you're stuck in your lane, and the one next to you is moving much faster, so you switch into it, but the moment you do that, it stops moving, and the lane you were in starts moving? But then you're too scared to switch back into the original lane because you're embarrassed the person behind is going to be like, Look at this loser switching back and forth from one lane to another, always making the wrong decision 🤣

That person isn't thinking about you. They don't even know you exist. They're too busy texting while driving, letting their friends know they're "5 minutes away," but really, they just left and are more like 30 minutes away. But the friends know that that's what "5 minutes away" means.

You're telling me Michael Bolton’s best friend wasn't afraid to switch lanes, but you are?

You'll never get where you want to go with that mindset.

YOU HAVE TOO MANY TABS OPEN

One email, two emails, three books, four episodes, five paragraphs diving into a character you'll only mention in passing but need an entire backstory in case anyone ever asks. And this is just your hobby. Not to mention getting ready to teach, keeping up with your fitness, the emails you have to respond to for work, and the meetings you can't skip. Don't forget to call your mom, your grandma, text your brother, or facetime your uncle on his birthday. Remember that one text you still haven't responded to from months ago you even mentioned in another email as a way to be like, "I'll definitely do it now!" but you still haven't done it? That one cool project you're working on even though there's no money yet, and you really want to do it, but you do it for like a week, then you realize you actually don't have enough time, so you ignore it for a few weeks before coming back to it again?

This is too overwhelming, maybe you should just ignore everything and binge a brand-new series. I bet that will solve everything (or at least help you temporarily forget how much you're fucking up).

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO CRY

"I'd rather not continue this conversation right now because he seems agitated. I don't want him to cry." That's what that one teacher said in 9th grade, but you were fine! (on the inside) On the outside, it did not look like that. I'm sure that will go away with time.

Seventeen years later, the same thing still happens. How have you kept it hidden until now? Have you ever worked on getting better? I'm sure it isn't noticeable your heart is about to explode inside your chest every time you have a confrontation. Everyone is totally not noticing that on your face at all…

YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE JUST ONE MORE PURCHASE

But you're not supposed to make any. Like, zero. Nada. You worked hard to get it all back on track, and now you're going to throw it away because of one dope floral patterned sweater that would go well with those new pants you were also not supposed to buy and you can only use three months out of the year because it's so hot? (probably two months or less with the way things are going) I bet you'll make like $1,000,000 randomly this year and be able to pay off all your debts. Just keep banking on that. You'll be fine.

YOU'RE A BAD PERSON

Remember when she said you're not a good guy you're a bad guy pretending to be a good guy, and you were like, that's definitely not true 🙅🏽‍♂️ But then later on, you were like, oh shit, maybe it's true? Maybe I was doing it even though I wasn't doing it on purpose? Okay, you realized. Now what? Just because you realize it doesn't mean you're automatically a better person. Now you have to actually change your ways to be that better person. If you keep doing the same thing, you'll be the same person with the same results.

Is that what you want?

YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF HOW FAR YOU'VE COME

People think they can decide to change one day, go to sleep, and wake up an entirely new person the next day. But that's not how it works. You don't read one self-help book and turn your life around in 24 hours. It takes discipline and dedication. Every single day. Little by little. Like grains of sand falling through a time glass. Because work doesn't happen from one day to another. It happens over an accumulation of days. So many days you don't even notice. So many days, you feel like you're not moving anywhere. So many days, you feel like you're not making any progress at all.

Until one day, you're cooking in the kitchen, and you grab the bottle of cooking oil, but then you think about something else (as you usually tend to do when you're already thinking about something), and you try to turn back, but it's too late. The bottle hits the side of the counter, and it slips from your hand. It hits the wall & the cabinets on the way down before shattering across the kitchen floor. The bottle you just refilled. With the expensive avocado oil you know you shouldn't be paying up for. But at that moment, you don't get upset, you don't get angry, you don't scream or throw your hands up in frustration. You look around at the mess you made and say, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Guess I have to clean this up then 🤷🏽‍♂️" And you get to work cleaning. Your heart rate stays the same. And even though you have now lost an hour from your planned schedule and all the work you have to do, it's okay. Because shit happens. And shit is always going to happen. There's no way for you to stop it. You can only be prepared for when it comes and control how you react.

Solo son pajitas que le caen a la leche as your mom would say.

And she's right about everything almost everything 🥛

PS