2️⃣083: Everyday Struggle [MONDAY] 📅

DUHNT-DUHNUHNUHNUHNUH the alarm screamed at me at 6 am 🥴

Stop, I said.

DUHNT-DUHNUHNUHNUHNUH it said again

Google, Stop

DUHNT-DUHNUHNUHNUHNUH

HEY, GOOGLE, STOP!

YES, JAVI.

Good Morning

My eyes cracked open. Well, not really cracked because a crack remains open. It was more like those scenes in the movies where someone is chasing someone else through a house or a building, and the person being chased runs into a room and puts a bunch of shit in front of the door so the chaser can't get to them. Then the chaser arrives, and they're trying to push the door open, but there's so much weight on the other side that all they can do is separate it from the frame for a few inches at a time before it slams shut again. That's what my eyes were doing.

Anyways, Google, Javi is my roommate. We need to figure this shit out. I had you for three years before he got a Google Home device. When he got one, I was all like, let's add it on the network and have all our devices under the same home so it all syncs nicely, but you've completely erased me from the picture and taken him as your favorite? This is not what Steve Jobs had in mind when he designed the Apple Vision Pro walking around barefoot after berating an intern 👨🏻‍🔬

ANYWAYS…. It's Monday at 6 am. I signed up for a yoga class at 7 am. It would be the best way to start my week and this new time (again) in my life when I have to be super productive (again). I spent all afternoon yesterday planning my week day-by-day while staring wistfully out the window at the people in the pool, wondering how they can wake up on a Monday and rawdog their entire week without a single thing on their calendar. It must be a Miami thing. Or maybe a Millennial thing. Those pesky Millennials and their dance videos 😒

I need to get up right now(!) so I can go to the bathroom and then drive down the 25 floors of my parking garage to make it to the studio on time and get the spot that I want right up front because when other people take that spot, it's just not the same even though I'm working hard to flow like water and be open to all the changes life brings me even if that means a new spot because that's what yoga is and you always gotta be prepared for things to change and…maybe I can just snooze a little. Ten extra minutes wouldn't hurt, right?

Hey, Google, set an alarm for 830 am…

🫣😬🤭

🛌😴

💤💤💤💤💤

💤💤💤💤💤💤💤

💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤

…DUHNT-DUHNUHNUHNUHNUH…

I'm so late for everything. Even though I don't teach any yoga today, and I don't have a set work schedule because I freelance, I've already planned everything I'm doing for today down to the last minute, starting from 7 am. But, I'm so fucking late because it's 830 and by the time I finish going to the bathroom and showering, it's going to be 9, and then I have to make breakfast, and by the time I finish making breakfast it'll hopefully be 930 and then I can meditate for 10 minutes and have some coffee on the balcony as I gather my thoughts and start working at 10 which means I'll have almost a full work day to do everything I have to do ✔️

🚽🧻🚿🧴🪥

Okay, ready to make some delicious breakfast, BUT IT'S 915 AM ALREADY?!?!?! 😩

Okay, if I make my breakfast quickly from 915 to 945, then I can have 10 minutes to sit on the balcony and enjoy my cup of coffee while doing a short, five-minute meditation.

You got this, don't get distracted.

Don't look at your phone scrolling endlessly through Twitter. You know that wastes so much time.

You're going to end up getting mad at people online who are just sharing shit without thinking about it first, mostly for engagement, and your getting riled up is exactly what they're looking for. Enjoy a few jokes and memes, and keep it moving. Don't let anything get to y— SO WHAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW CHILD TRAFFICKING WAS A THING BUT NOW YOU SAW THE MOVIE AND EVERYONE MUST SEE IT SO WE CAN ALL DO OUR PART TO WATCH THE MOVIE SO WE CAN ALL SOLVE CHILD TRAFFICKING TOGETHER BY WATCHING THE MOVIE?!?!? I never considered the evolution of Headline Heroes would be Silverscreen Superstars. What, did we also do our part for the #WarOnDrugs by watching Sean Penn interview El Chapo? A movie everyone NEEDS TO WATCH? How about Bowling For Columbine 🎳 

You want to help kids in need? Look at what they’re doing in Minnesota. They just signed a bill into law that guarantees free lunch for every single student in the state, regardless of income. That’s how you help kids: by addressing the real issues they suffer every day and not the ones that make awesome stories or viral videos. By working within your community to provide them with full stomachs so they can pay attention in school. Want to help kids more? Provide universal healthcare for all ages and incomes so they can, once again, actually go to school and pay attention while they’re there. Don’t ignore the plight of poor, hungry, sick, homeless children all across the country, and then get all excited about “saving the children” when you watch some stupid White-Savior-western-heroism porn from some dude who’s another grifter. But that doesn’t work because giving kids free lunch doesn’t look good on the spreadsheet, and everyone knows the country is run by four spreadsheets with three different tabs each, and if you make sure kids are fed, one side of the numbers doesn’t—HOLY SHIT, it's already 10 am 🫠

You can't meditate or sit on the balcony enjoying your coffee because you don't have enough time. But you can walk outside to the balcony with your coffee and take in some of the beautiful views you're lucky to have. Yeah, 30 seconds of staring at the cruise ships will definitely make up for skipping that 10-minute meditation. I have to make sure not to get distracted as I, oh damn, who are these people at the pool? She's kinda cute. Nice tattoos. What's that, a case of Corona, a bottle of Hennessy, 10 am on a Monday? They definitely just came from Space or another club or could've easily just been up all night sitting around the living room talking and decided to go to the pool this early. Imagine everything they could accomplish in life if only they were as responsible as I am and if th— HOLY SHIT, it's already 1030 am 🫥

Go to the computer. Look at the list of things you wrote down to do today. You calculated every single thing that is TOP PRIORITY, and you can accomplish them if you don't waste a single second between 9 am and 5 pm. But it will be 11 am by the time you start doing something. That's fine. Just do everything you need to do in half the time you thought it would take you. No biggie. You do that shit all the time. You're soooo productive...😬🥴

Before I get started on these super important tasks I've already fallen hours behind on…why don't I look over all of my 12 different emails?

At this point, you gotta have different emails. The first one you ever made had your name but didn't feel professional enough when you started your career, so you stopped using it for professional reasons (if you're reading and still using your lame first email, make a new one that's firstname.lastname or lastname.firstname).

You use that original one to sign up for new sites and newsletters. But that one got too full of new sites and newsletters, so you created another one that's a throwaway for just newsletters and random things you can skip through until they have a good announcement or deal. But then you used that one to sign up for a serious thing because you didn't want to use the first one because you're worried it could get hacked, so now this one is, like, semi-serious. But you also have the one for your Instagram, which is just for creative stuff, so that doesn't get mixed up with other things. But you also have the ones that…🫢

Now I have to check the serious one I created for LinkedIn and other work stuff separate from my first one ever. But that serious one got full of some shit that doesn't feel as serious, so you want to make sure you have your actual serious stuff in another email that is forever because this one is truly super serious, and you won't let it get filled up with dumb shit like….Hilton Honors Rewards Points? You go on a work trip one time and you're told this will be your life, so you sign up for the rewards programs, but then after that trip someone decides your services will no longer be needed for any other trip ever again please hold it down in the office while we traverse a different continent because Betty McDoyle with a Thin Blue Line profile picture needs help on Facebook and trust us you don't want any part of this we're soooo tired from this photo shoot on the super secluded secret beach on a secret island you can only go to twice a year because the entrance is flooded the rest of the time something about the tides and the moon you're so lucky you got to stay at home and go to the office in Plantation, FL 🙂

Anywayzzz, I'm definitely not bitter. Who? Me?

No wayyyyyy

…🤥

HOLY SHIT, it's 11:17am….😵

I'm definitely not getting any work done today. I know I need to do this to have billable hours in this next invoice and submit it so I can get paid in time for next month's rent, but there's really no shot to get it done today. It's already noon. Everyone knows you don't get any work done after, noon. Everyone knows I do my best writing in the morning, so if you need something from me, get me by 9 am when I've already worked out and had breakfast and I'm enjoying my coffee (hopefully on the balcony).

Since I can't do any work, I might as well make the most of this time by cleaning up the closet a lil and putting some laundry in so it's all dry by the time the sun goes down, and I can chill and fold clothes while I keep rewatching all of Star Wars in timeline order. I can also catch up on some email newsletters I love to read and maybe close one of the 27 tabs I have open in Chrome after reading some articles so I can finally update Google Chrome and then update my computer because I don't remember the last time I restarted it....

Aaaaaaaaand, it's 2 pm 😐

Time for lunch. How did the time go by so quickly? I was supposed to have lunch earlier because then I could have dinner earlier, because if I have dinner too late, then I can't sleep properly because my stomach and—anyway, it's a thing, don't worry about it.

Because I'm so so so smart and responsible and disciplined, I meal prepped yesterday, so all I have to do today is put my food in the microwave, and it's ready to go in two minutes. Easy peasy, I should be finished with lunch by 230 pm so I can get back on track doing what I need to do.

HOLY SHIT IT'S 330PM 🤡

Where the fuck did the time go? How is this movie not over? How old is Padmé compared to Anakin? It's alright, everyone. I checked, and she's only five years older than him. It's not creepy.

It's too late for coffee, so don't even think about it. Then you'll never sleep.

Empty the dishwasher 🍽

Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher 🫧

Empty the coffee pot and clean it up so you don't have to worry about it tomorrow morning ☕️

Now you're on track to get everything you need to get done for tomorrow morning so you can continue being disciplined and responsible.

430 pm? Day's over. Might as well just give up. You're not getting anything done today 🤷🏽‍♂️

Had to call Mom, had to call Grandma, had to respond to that one DM that I haven't responded to in three months, but it's okay because I read it and then marked it as unread, so even if I post things they know that I'm not ignoring them because it's not read yet! 🤓 

It's not that I don't think the message is important or that I don't want to answer. It's just that I don't know what to say. Sometimes you don't have an answer! Okay, fine, I'll check the message. "Did you like that movie you posted about?" Why, yes, I did. Damn, that was easy. I should just answer things at the moment. Now that I've learned from this experience, I'm much wiser, and I'm sure I'll never make this silly mistake again 😇

Should I go to yoga? You skipped this morning. You know it's good for you. You should do it to get your week started properly and back on track. You're right. But it's already 530, and I'm never going to make it on time. You could go at 7. But then you finish at 8, and you have to have a late dinner, and then you're rushing to get to bed so you can watch one episode of something, but even then, it's too late.

No yoga, so I'll have dinner now instead. Then I can clean up, adjust my week and re-plan everything because I fucked up today, stretch, then watch one episode (not Episode 1) before going to sleep.

Let me just scroll through my phone for a minute or two before I get all of that started and…

HOLY SHIT IT'S 9PM 😞

Okay, this is the new plan: shower, brush your teeth, and sleep 🤗

It's okay. It's just a Monday. What's the big deal anyway? You'll get back on track and figure this all out tomorrow….

PS

Do your own research, I guess