2️⃣071: the grass is always greener? 🤑

I see tweets like this a lot, so I sat down to seriously think about the topic, and I think I've finally come up with an answer to this question.

If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be:

Now let's take a step back because I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Nah, this CANNOT be David writing this," and you are correct. I've known David for a bit now, and since I've known him, I've been subscribed to this email, fervently reading every Tuesday and replying with either constructive criticism, memes, corrections to his logic, or just something supportive. When I saw the announcement 2sday was getting an upgrade, I asked if he would ever consider a guest writer, and well, that's where we are now.

I'll tell you a little more about myself to help you feel more comfortable reading my subconscious thoughts. I'm a 30-year-old female, Libra sun, Aquarius rising, and Capricorn moon (if that's important to you). I'm the Director of Marketing for a skincare company and currently living in BUFU, Florida. Why am I living in the middle of nowhere in the most God-forsaken state in the country, you ask? Well, I followed career advice from my father (see opening statement).

I must say I truly feel for anyone whose parents pressured them to pursue a lucrative career and money instead of their passions. In fact, I envy those who went against what society tells us about going to college, getting a degree, etc., and paved their own way, hustling to get what they actually wanted out of life. Sometimes, I wish I had gone that route, and I often wonder what my life would look like had I done that.

"PRIVILEGE!" I can hear you shouting at me, and I get it. I'm fortunate to be able to sit here thinking about this in retrospect, from my corner office, on my company-provided MacBook Pro (don't tell my boss I'm writing this on company time 🤫).

But let me tell you one thing I've learned about myself since starting this high-paying job in BUFU, Florida.

Back when I was not yet making a 6 figure salary, I remember thinking, "If I could just make more money to live more comfortably, I'd be happy." So I slaved away in fluorescent lighting at a cubicle for my entire 20s. I've worked for assholes, misogynists, experienced workplace sexual harassment, and did shit I hated all day to strive for excellence in my career in the hopes of getting a better title with better pay.

Then I started making 6 figures, and I still felt like I was missing something and not truly living my life. I was kind of confused. When I was 13, in 7th grade, I had written about what I wanted to do with my life, and I was doing just that. I lived in NYC and worked at a top growth marketing agency, just as I had dreamed about. But, something was missing from all this, and the pay didn't seem worth the 13-hour days and the mental stress clients gave me.

A few months ago, a recruiter that placed me at a job in Miami back in 2019 reached out with a super crazy offer. It was double what I was making, but the downside was that it's in the middle of nowhere in Florida, about 2 hours north of Miami (it doesn't sound like BUFU but I PROMISE you it is).

Regardless, I took the bait and left my life in NYC for a bigger paycheck.

And after a few months of living here and working here, I've realized my current job doesn't even allow me to enjoy the money I make. For the next 10 months, I don't have any vacation time and just 10 work-from-home days per year. I signed a contract where I am responsible for paying back my full relocation package if I do not last an entire year, whether they fire me or I quit. Which is just a great thing to have hanging over your head when you work at a messy company, for an unstable CEO, in the middle of nowhere, with no friends, no support system, and no opportunity to take some time off.

When I was offered this job, my dad and older brothers told me I'd be crazy not to take it. And honestly, I'm feeling crazy for actually taking it.

Growing up, my parents sort of indoctrinated me into believing I needed to make a lot of money to be happy. At the age of 18, it was expected I knew what college I wanted to attend, what major I'd study, and what I would do with that degree once I graduated. There was no option for a gap year. Not even to join the peace corps as I so wanted.

They never encouraged me to pursue a career in something they didn't believe to be lucrative. In fact, I only received financial assistance or praise from my parents when I was doing something which generated income for myself (kind of backward if you really think about it). They called it "positive reinforcement." However, I look at this as crushing my soul and further pushing me into a capitalistic hell hole. It's no wonder I had to drop out of college during my Sophomore year to seek psychiatric treatment. After treatment, I decided to take a discovery year at a community college to explore other possible fields of study. Two months out of treatment and a month into community college, I was hit with, "When are you going back to school to finish your degree?"

When I told my dad I was thinking of going to school for Psychology because I was really enjoying the classes, he said, "What are you going to do with a psychology degree? You'd have to go to school for 8 years and get a Ph.D. to do anything with that. You'll be in debt up to your eyeballs! Find something that will allow you to make money right out of school without needing more." 

I understand why he said that, but wow, way to shoot down my dreams 💔

I can hear you thinking, "You know you could have just not listened to your parents and found a way to make it on your own without them." True, but when I was younger, I didn't have the mental strength or intelligence I do at 30 years old. My father essentially groomed me, and I took his advice to heart. I truly believed I needed to go to school, immediately enter the workforce, and start earning money to feel happy, fulfilled, and accomplished. I was too blind to see this man sacrificed everything in life for his business and his money.

He missed all of my childhood essentially because he chased money rather than happiness. My oldest brother taught me how to ride a bike, practiced soccer with me, helped me with my homework, sat on the sidelines of my soccer games cheering me on, and took me to father-daughter dances, all because my dad was always too busy.

How could I have been so blind to put my father on a pedestal and believe he knew what was best for me when he couldn't even be there for me because he put money above everything? Was I going to turn into him? Have I become him? I've sent myself in a spiral thinking about just that many, many times.

"Do what you love, and the money will follow," they say. Honestly, do what you love. Period. Fuck the money. It makes things easier, and it puts food in your mouth and gas in your tank, but I PROMISE you if you have to do shit you hate all day for people you can't stand, it's not worth it.

And you'll keep chasing it. 100K turns into 200K turns into 300K, and so on and so forth. It's not ever going to be enough. You'll always want more.

So while I sit in my fluorescent-lit office envying those I see actually following their dreams instead of the dreams their parents had for them, heed my words: nothing will make you feel richer than getting up every morning to do something you truly love, regardless of the pay.

PS

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