2️⃣055: The Emoji Dictionary Vol. 2 👩🏽‍🏫

Welcome back! Let’s not waste any time 🤓

This is also horny (but that was obvious)

These people are bowing, but they're also looking up kinda innocently. Like oh man I'm sorry I'm not sure if what I said was correct I'm just trying to be cool and fit in looking up.

But also not innocent because if someone sends this to you it can also mean that they're...oh yeah, you guessed correctly 🥺 🥺 🥺

I love this one because I like to think of how many people might've gotten upset that there's a pregnant dude in their phones now. And even if they never got upset, there's a pregnant dude in your phone now. Congrats, you're officially an ally of the transgender community. No takebacks. Get with the fucking program and stop being a neanderthal 😘

I saw this one and had no idea what it was, but I guess it's a deaf person.

(Yes, deaf people can be horny too. You just can’t whisper sweet nothings into their ear 🦻)

This is Michael Jackson ✨

This is Will Smith, except he used up all his wishes after the genie was like, "Sorry, I can't go back in time and make you un-fall-in-love, but if you want, we can switch places, and you can stay inside this lamp for the rest of your life and that way you don't have to go on your wife's Facebook TV show if it makes you feel better." 

Also, Bel-Air is really good. You should watch it 🤴🏿

This guy is a weirdo

This guy is horny, but he's also a fucking weirdo, so he's not getting laid, and he sends all the emojis at the wrong time. Like you’ll be complaining about your day at work and how Jennifer is such a terrible boss and she always asks for things last minute then gets upset when the quality of your work isn’t high and wonders why you didn’t finish the other things you were working on when she interrupted you and that asshole from Accounting stole your desert again and nobody seems to care when you bring it up and all your boyfriend (aka Man pouting) can text back is 🥺 This man gives a bad name to all of our other horny emoji friends.

Corals are animals, not plants!

These are not the sun

(also, they look pretty cute looking at each other like that 🥰)

This is the most detailed emoji I've ever seen. Shoutout to whoever drew this shit. They must really love bell peppers. I bet they probably have a stuffed animal or a mini statue of a bell pepper on their desk and used it as inspiration.

These pancakes look delicious

Why is oyster the go-to "I'm eating fancy and spending money. I need to let you know on my IG story that I'm being bougie at a nice restaurant, and some dude I'm not fucking is paying for my meal" emoji?

This liquid is not being poured. It's being spilled

(definitely not a Pinot)

This emoji is so good! I love the details and the colors. I wish I could use it more often, but I work for a cruise line that spends its time in the ocean, the opposite of the desert.

These emojis suck 😒

Don't get me wrong. I do love them. But there's no good sunset emoji! Look at that shit. Does that actually look like a sunset to you? No, of course not. It's a weak-ass sunset over the city. How can we get a 12k rendition of a bell pepper, but we can't get a proper sunset over the horizon like billions of people enjoy watching every day?

I'm confident you've used the sunrise emoji to mean sunset at one point because the other "sunset" emoji fucking sucks. And the cityscape one isn't good. They have it as "dusk." Who the fuck cares about dusk? Give me the type of sunset where I can post that Kanye meme of him pulling out his phone to take a picture.

A lot of you be using this one to protect yourselves from the world, but it's really the world that needs protection from you 👀

This is cool

What the fuck is a postal horn?

Did people use to wait around for a horn to be blown to go pick up their mail?

This is the Olympics emoji because I imagine some dude blowing this (🫠) to start the race at the first-ever Olympics 🥹

No, not the Berlin Olympics hosted by Hitler and Nazi Germany. Yeah, don't forget about that. Today known as the greatest evil in the history of the world, but back then the US was like, yeah, sure, of course, let’s go over there and participate. It's just a bit of conservative ideology. How bad could they really be?

Nobody uses these fucking emojis. Why are they even there? They were probably created to appease some nerds who work at Apple. Maybe Japanese people use the Japanese one, and British people use the water closet one. Besides that, get rid of all of them and give us more horny emojis 😛

If you're reading this, you have this symbol on your phone, which means you're an ally to the transgender community. I’m sure the LGBTQ+ community appreciates your support 🏳️‍⚧️🫶🏽

I was going to write a quip about this flag being illegal to fly in Germany right now when I was looking at Emojipedia.com and realized the official Apple name for the emoji is "Flag of the Palestinian Territories." Not "Palestine." Not "State of Palestine" as it's officially named. "Flag of the Palestinian TERRITORIES."

PS

Yes, most emojis are just plain-old horny 🫠