2️⃣087: OMG LOOK AT THIS!! 🤓

I recently realized that I've probably spent most of my life missing out on a non-insignificant amount of what's "going on" around me at any given moment.

This isn't, like, a uniquely "me" thing; similar to a lot of people (that's the scientific term, yes), I've worn glasses for a large part of my life to do everything from driving to working on a computer. Contacts? Those are a no bueno for me since my eyes are too dry for them. Well, that's part of it, but mostly I'd forget to take them out when I was drunk 🫣🤷🏻‍♀️

It occurred to me every time I wore contacts (which, again, wasn't super often) just how much I was missing on a daily basis:

• Seeing the ocean waves in the distance from my apartment balcony 😍 

• The crisp, clean outline of buildings, license plates, and things on the shelf at Target that aren't like three feet away from my face 😯 👀

• Spotting someone from across the room and confidently waving to them…or just spotting someone from across the room, period.

Was I fine, like, basically most of the time? Yeah. But then there would be those moments when I was talking to my twin sister (who was blessed with perfect vision, but she had braces as a kid and I didn't, so it evens out), and she would be all, Oh, shit, can you legit not see that? Never mind. And not even in an asshole way, in the way that she couldn't relate to not being able to see how expensive an oat milk latte would cost at the bougie café near my apartment. (And if this is the part where you're like, Sheesh Karina, you know there are millions of people who are actually blind? Yes, I'm aware, but humor me, please? I'm sensitive.)

Anyway, ahead of a big birthday this year — and because I was finally fortunate enough to be in a place to afford non-essential medical expenses but not a down payment for some real estate hahahahaha *cries*— I decided to finally explore surgical options to snatch my vision.

I was fucking doing it, you guys 🤗

The surgery itself was low-key super chill. I've had gyno appointments that were way, way crazier. (Don't ask me about how I almost passed out after getting my IUD.) A few days after my surgery and so many eye drops later, I could actually see. Like so mother-freaking good. It was crazy, and I'm still not totally used to it.

Leading up to the whole thing, I thought getting my vision corrected would make me feel like a brand new human — and it did, but also, it didn't. The thing is, I don't so much feel totally different, but I've noticed that a lot of little everyday things are way easier, and I don't even think about not being able to see. When I really think about it, I'm shook at all the small details in life that used to pass me by. I know it seems like the world sucks most of the time, but it's also really fucking beautiful. You know, except for all of the times it's not.

You know what else is wild?

Waking up and being able to see 🤩 (Also: Going to bed and being able to actually sort of see stuff in the dark.) Small things now stick out to me in shocking relief:

• The teeny-tiny plaques next to paintings at a museum (and the fact that I can read them from over two feet away)

• The amount of stars in the sky on one of those perfectly clear, warm summer nights

• All the twinkling lights of the city when you're having one of those main character moments in the back of an Uber Comfort.

Little things that add up to the big life upgrade I always hoped for.

When you have things like student loans or rent always looming, it can be hard to invest in yourself. But here's the thing — and this isn't coming from Big Pharma™️, just me, 100%: I wasn't just paying for better vision; this was an investment in living life to the fullest.

And that's not to say that my fellow nearsighted (or farsighted) cuties are existing in a Lite version of existence. All of that shit is up to ourselves, and I can only speak for myself. But, even now, I find myself making better eye contact with people or not having to leave a spin class when a contact lens falls out of my eye (which, yes, has happened more than once).

As for what happens now? That's up to me, I guess.

x

- Karina

Want to read more from Karina? Find everything she’s written (and will write) for Refinery29 right here.